Loving ourselves into the future
Watch out! It's that time of year again when the New Year Wellness Self Betterment Industry (my phrase and capitalizations) is going to tell us that we need to shrink, be less, self-punish, and hate our current selves into change.
And yet, so many of my learnings as a coach this year showed me the opposite is true. Mean, shaming, belittling change doesn’t work.
Genuine change comes from a place of possibility and love.
This year I worked with more humans than ever before. Given that, I wondered if some of the core beliefs I hold about how humans change and grow might shift. What I discovered is some essential beliefs, reaffirmed and strengthened.
This year I supported many clients in acknowledging the ways they have learned to survive this world: giving compassion to the parts that ache, tantrum, sabotage, and get in the way of growth.
Again, I came to the belief that wanting to change parts of ourselves does not make those parts bad or wrong. Our desire to be different might make us want to get distance from the parts that are no longer supporting us. What if, instead, we faced those parts with curiosity about how they once supported us? I witnessed many clients soften to parts of themself that were hard to like (let alone love) and invite change in from a place of deep self love. Transformative.
What I learned (and affirmed) with my clients in 2025
Growth doesn't have to be punitive
Time and again I witnessed that the growth that really took root did not come from a place of self criticism, meanness, or disgust. Deep-rooted growth came from a place of love, possibility, and compassion. We can want to be more – not less – ourselves. Growth can be generative and generous. Punitiveness is not a part of my coaching practice.
Curiosity is potent medicine
So many clients continue to discover curiosity as an amazing ally or alternative to other modes. I witnessed a number of clients turn to curiosity at times when they previously would have turned to criticism or shame. Compassion is an essential part of curiosity and part of why it’s so impactful for individuals who have tended to be hard on themselves.
Hard on systems & soft on self
I have heard the phrase in movement spaces: “Hard on systems, soft on people.” I like extending this idea into coaching as I constantly see the opportunity for clients to be kinder to themselves through change work. Change is hard after all! Let’s all fight the systems that oppress all of us, instead of fighting our tender, creative, yearning selves. It is so amazing and brave to want to change.
You are not “too late”
It’s not too late to start that project, try something new, start over, start again, be in your life a different way, etc. So much energy goes to the saboteur that says, “It’s too late!” It was so empowering to watch my clients build up their inner cheerleaders that said, “Your longing is enough! You’re ready! You’ve got this!” Letting go of the feeling of being too late and instead trusting that things were right on time, made a huge difference for so many clients.
Here's to loving ourselves into whatever comes next! To taking up MORE space as ourselves! And ignoring anyone (including the New Year Wellness Self Betterment Industry) who tells us being self-loathing and punitive is more effective.
I am ending this year with gratitude and deep care for the people who have found their way to Growing Home Coaching and support my work. I feel so lucky that so many humans have chosen to walk this path with me and invite me to be a collaborator in their transformation!
I truly believe our individual healing and collective healing work is connected. This is work of possibility and belief in better worlds. This is the work of nurturing and growing our radical imaginations. This work is necessary. Coaching is courageous.
As a thank you, I continue my annual tradition of sharing a simple reflection worksheet to say goodbye to the current year and welcome in the new year. Pick a word to anchor 2026! Express some gratitude! Reflect on the year that is closing! Declare your intentions! Name what you are saying YES to and NO to in 2026! And more...
You can download a copy of the worksheet here.
I am excited to witness, support, collaborate, build, grow, create, and be together in 2026. Thank you for letting me love you and see the possibility in you, always.
